You decided to start a family and now you are creating a plan, so, keep a few things in mind when planning for the future. Remember the garden analogy that discussed planning ahead, it is time to start the plan. Planning Try sitting down with your partner, family, friends etc. and start brainstorming about what the best possible life you would want for your child. You should come up with an overwhelming list of things that you consider important. The list will include things likes stability, security, health, money, family ties and friends. The list will be long and daunting but remember it is not always possible to achieve everything from your list therefore, it should only be thought as a, best case scenario. Having children is unpredictable, therefore how can we possibly try to have everything from the list in place before starting a family. Trying to achieve the impossible is setting yourself up to feel like you somehow failed. That is just not true, you nee to relax and do the best you can with what you have. That is true planning. Flexibility is how you weather the ups and downs in life, and being adaptable is how you create a strong family unit. When something from our plan changes, it doesn’t have to have to be permanent but consider it a bump in the road that we need to adjust too, while we alter our plan. Plans need to change to accommodate what is happening in the present as this can ensure success in the future. Remember our true goal is to have a magnificent family but that takes tending.
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Children all go through specific well defined developmental stages and armed with specific strategies, guiding a child through these stages will most likely have positive results, so, you will need to make a parenting plan. Why would you need a plan? Well if we compare parenting to gardening it will help you to see how those gardens (children) that are nurtured and well maintained tend to be strong, resilient. The more time you spend on your garden in the beginning the less time you need to spend tending to it as it matures. Many things can cause problems in a garden, but, our early nurturing and constant tending will make it possible for the garden to flourish. Take a walk in you neighborhood and start observing the gardens. Look for the ones that are nurtured and compare them to the ones that were just planted with the expectation that they will grow with little or no work. Look for the differences and what you will see are gardens with, lots of different plants and flowers . Some gardens will be magnificent and some will be in need of work. Which type of gardener or parent would you like to be?
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Starting a family is an amazing journey but all journeys require planning. Becoming a parent for the first time is uncharted territory so educating yourself on what to expect makes for a smoother ride. Here are a few points to consider.
1. Be prepared, don’t ask your family and friends, do some real research. Ask a professional. Getting advice from your family and friends is only helpful if they really know what they are talking about.
2. Be ready, to give up your position as number one. You need to understand that having children means that your needs are no longer the most important part of big decisions. The needs of each member of your growing family are of equal importance and that this is a lifetime commitment.
3. You are a parent, so you need to grow up. It is important that you do things that are all about you so that you keep your mental health at its best. Once in a while you should do things that you enjoyed from before you had children, but, always remember it is just a visit and that your parenting journey is just beginning.
Enjoy the journey!!!! Any Questions Just Ask Mary’s Advice.
Breast feeding versus bottle feeding what is the difference. Always remember that your choice will have been made with love and knowledge. Breastfeeding is a natural source of food and those first few feedings after the baby is born is natures way of providing the baby with all of the mothers antibodies. Colostrum is the thick yellow liquid chock full of antibodies that sets up the first building blocks to a good healthy immune system. If you are not going to breast feed you will be encouraged to try for the first few days in order for the baby to get that colostrum. Another obvious bonus to breast feeding is price; breast milk is free and babies eat a lot in those early months so the cost of formula can add up. Breastfed babies make their own decision as to how much they need and when they are full, which makes overfeeding unlikely. Your body adjusts to the baby and produces the amount of breast milk your baby needs. The bonding that takes place during feedings whether breast or bottle fed is what is most important. The added bonus of bottle feeding is that the baby will get precious bonding time with dad/partner, grandparents, siblings etc. so take advantage of the precious time spent feeding your baby. Talk to them in a soothing voice, sing lullabies, caress that beautiful face, gently rub that oh so baby soft skin, and play with their fingers, as these special moments are building a bond that will last a lifetime. Enjoy!
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